We’ve been on vacation for the past week.  It is the only time of year when all our family members are together as one unit.  It’s been a good week.  Grandbabyboy is almost six years old and he will become a big brother sometime in April.  Daughter-in-love starts a new teaching job when she and Son return home.  And Daughter #2 starts her last semester of Masters classes.

Usually at this point, I am ready to go “home” – I’m rested, mentally good and optimistic about the future.  This year, I’m feeling different.  I’ve slept (a lot); reconnected with God; spent most of time loving on my family, but I’m not ready to go back.  I want to go “home,” but going “home” means I’m thrust back into the turmoil of my ministry.

I’m not sure where the church/Church is headed.  My little congregation is embarking on a MAJOR evangelistic course, spending most of their energy and time and lots and lots of money preparing for it.  I’m scared witless that it’s going to crash and burn.  As I hate being micromanaged, I have resisted the urge to do the same with each of the committees.  If someone drops the ball, I’m not going to go rushing in and scoop it up.  But, I hate to see it just spinning there.

Little Church has a good, solid leadership team.  I trust them.  We have some ideological differences, but for the sake of love and ministry, I’m willing to not split hairs.  But what if all these resources fail to do what they are counting on – keeping the church alive and solvent?

What if I don’t have the answers?  What if they’re disillusioned and quit?  What if?  What if?  What if?

I know God is ultimately in control.  I know I am not God.  I want to see into the future.

It’s time to go “home.”


About moseyingthrough

Self. Spouse. Mother. Nana. Clergy. Pastor. Progressive. Feminist. Child of God. That about sums it up.
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