Last week I submitted a resume for a secular job. I had had it. I’ve dealt with a lotta crap over the last month. I couldn’t see an end in sight. Tired of church; tired of life; tired of religion. Tired of being blamed for everything that is wrong or going wrong with the Church-I-Serve. Tired of feeling guilty because of things I have to do and yet can’t quite seem to get around to doing. Tired of feeling shame because I will never be able to manipulate time and space and I will never be the worldest greatest pastor.ever.
Burnout makes me crazy. Burnout makes me angry, then depressed. Burnout makes me sick and tired of being sick and tired. Burnout leads me to believe that I am not good enough; that I have little to offer; that I am the worst.ever.
This week our family is on vacation and I am planning to not plan, not do, just be.
Rest. Relax. Read cheap, trashy gothic romance novels and enjoy the fact that we are all together for the first time in a year. Recreate.
Buh bye, burnout.